Why homosexuals exist? (English translation of a Tamil article)

http://www.dinakaran.com/healthnew/healthinnerdetail.aspx?id=407&id1=9

English Transaltion of dinakaran article.

We earlier discussed about Homosexuality and how it was viewed as a crime. Now let us discuss how Homosexuality is viewed in India. 

கிழக்கிந்திய கம்பெனி என்ற வர்த்தகப் போர்வையில் ஆங்கிலேயர்கள் இங்கு வந்து அடிமைப்படுத்துவதற்கு முன்பு வரை, ஓரினச் சேர்க்கையை ஆட்சேபனைக்குரிய உறவாகவோ, பாவகரமான குற்றமாகவோ இந்தியாவில் யாரும் பார்க்கவில்லை.


Before the arrival of British in the cover of  East India company and colonized India,  Homosexuality was never considered as a objectionable relationship or a crime in India.


பழங்கால நூல்களில் ஓரினச் சேர்க்கை பற்றி நிறைய சொல்லப்பட்டிருக்கிறது. இதனை மனுதர்ம சாஸ்திரத்தில் கூட தண்டிக்கப்பட வேண்டிய இழிவான செயலாக சொல்லவில்லை.
ஓரினச் சேர்க்கையில் ஈடுபட்டவர்கள் குளித்து விட்டால் போதும் என்றுதான் சொல்லப்பட்டிருக்கிறது.

In ancient texts from Indian diaspora, homosexuality was discussed and mentioned at lengths.   Even in Manu Dharma it was never mentioned as a  crime or objectionable relationship.   It says if you have been part of a homosexual relationship, if you take a bath to cleanse yourself,  you will be cleared of any stigma. 


என்றாலும், வாத்ஸாயனர் காலத்தில் கூறப்பட்டுள்ள திருமணங்களில் காந்தர்வ திருமணம் குறித்தும் சொல்லப்பட்டுள்ளது. காந்தர்வ திருமணம் என்றால் காதல் திருமணம் என்று பொருள்.
அதன்படி ஆணும், பெண்ணும் காதலித்து திருமணம் செய்து கொள்வதுபோல், ஆணும், ஆணுமோ அல்லது பெண்ணும், பெண்ணுமோ திருமணம் செய்து கொள்ளலாம் என்று கூறப்பட்டுள்ளது.

During the times of Vatsayana it was mentioned that  Men and women can enter into love marriage and  Man and Man  or Woman and Woman can enter into marriage because of love.  It was called Kandharva marriage.

ஆங்கிலேயர்கள் ஆட்சிக் காலத்தில்தான் ஓரினச் சேர்க்கை மிகப்பெரிய பிரச்சினையாக்கப்பட்டது. 

During the British rule,  Homosexuality was demonized and was considered as a crime.  

சரி, ஓரினச் சேர்க்கையில் ஈடுபடுவோருக்கு எப்படி அந்தத் தூண்டுதல் ஏற்படுகிறது? என்றால், பல மருத்துவ கருத்துகள் நிலவுகின்றன.





There are so many opinions as of how someone is attracted to the same gender?

மரபணுக் கோளாறினால் ஓரினச் சேர்க்கையில் ஈடுபடுவதாகத் தெரிவிக்கப்பட்டாலும், அதனை மருத்துவ உலகம் ஏற்றுக் கொள்ளவில்லை. 




Medical world has rejected the idea that Homosexuality exist due to genetics. 





கர்ப்பத்தின் போது தாயின் ஹார்மோன் கோளாறினால் குழந்தைக்கு ஓரினச் சேர்க்கை விருப்பம் வருகிறது என்று கூறப்பட்டது. ஆனால் குழந்தையின் ஹார்மோனை பரிசோதித்த போது, அதற்கான எந்த நிரூபணமும் இல்லை என்று மறுத்து விட்டது.

The idea of ,  A child  becomes a homosexual to to hormonal imbalance in mothers womb was also rejected by the medical community because of there is no proof of this concept.

குழந்தைப் பருவத்தின் போது நெருக்கடியான சூழலில் வளர்வதால், மனப் பாதிப்பின் காரணமாக ஓரினச் சேர்க்கையில் நாட்டம் ஏற்படுவதாக சொல்லப்படுகிறது. ஆனால் இதனையும் ஆய்வு செய்த மருத்துவ உலகினர் மறுத்துள்ளனர்.
  
There is another theory that kids growing in a very difficult or traumatic child hood  may become a homosexual.  Even this idea was rejected by researchers in the grounds of lack supporting data

வேறு தகவலின்படி, குழுவாக இருக்கும் பெரும்பாலானோருக்கு ஓரினச் சேர்க்கை ஈடுபாடு இருந்தால், அவர்களுடன் இருப்பவர்களுக்கும் அந்த ஈடுபாடு உருவாகும் என்று ஒரு கருத்து நிலவுகிறது.
இவையெல்லாமே யூகத்தின் அடிப்படையிலும், கற்பனையின் அடிப்படையிலுமே கூறப்படுபவை என்று மருத்துவத் துறையினர் நிரூபித்து விட்டனர்.
எனவே பிறவியிலேயே ஓரினச் சேர்க்கையாளர்கள் அதில் விருப்பம் கொண்டிருக்கிறார்கள் என்பதே உண்மை.
பல நேரங்களில் ஓரினச் சேர்க்கையாளர்கள் ஏன் அதுமாதிரி நடந்து கொள்கிறார்கள் என்பது அவர்களுக்கே புரியாத புதிராக உள்ளது.

There is another theory that homosexual behavior persists in a group environment.  Others may experiment homosexuality in that environment.  Researchers and doctors say that all these ideas and theories exist because of wild guess and pure imagination.   It proves that homosexuals are born this way and this is the fact. 


Even homosexuals dont know why they are attracted to their same gender.  They feel puzzled and they dont know why?  They feel it is natural for them.





  

 

 


 


 

Denver National Queer Asian Leadershihp conference

Denver conference 9/5/2008 - 9/7/2008



I flew into Denver with a whole lot of open mind for the NQAPIA conference. National Queer Asian Leadership conference doesn't happen that often and I was very happy to represent QAPA (Queer Asian Pacific Alliance the oldest queer Asian organization in USA. Was founded in 1979 and its almost 30 years and we are going strong). The long flight from Boston or getting outted in the airport because I was dragging big carry on that someone makes me gay? I never heard that before but it did really happen :). You guys should ask Anouksha or Deepali who I met at the Airport and we headed to the hotel together.


My buddy Kit Yan from QAPA was there, you all know about him the famous slam poet and part of "Good Asian drivers". I learnt a lot from Kit in the past few years I knew him, he opened a lot of doors for me and made me understand the plight and fights of the Trans and Trans Asian community. Amit Dixit from Boston MASALA was representing his organization and I alwasy appreciate his energy whether its Queer South Asian related activism or HIV Aids related fights.


This is a pan asian conference including Asians from the Main land, South East Asians, South Asians and the Pacific Islanders. This is another unique thing about the conference. Historically Asians and South Asian communities have their own organizations and there are few points or intersections but they survive and behave like two different communities.


The day we landed we had a reception and we met the local dignitaries. We met Gill Foundation executive director, his staff and local dignitaries. Not only it was an eye opener, it was heartening to see Queer and non queer local community leaders there to support the conference and the cause. Let me ask you this, how often do you hear about the National Asian Queer leadership conference or the Queer Leadership itself. Hats off to Glen, Ben, Mala, Andy and Gill foundation to make this happen. They worked so hard to make this happen and I am so proud of their achievement and leadership. This inspires me to do more for the community and the cause. Its not an empty promise and I am not known for that, If I commit, I am 200% or I am not there.


Members from the following organizations were represented there. National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, GLAAD, QAPA, MASALA, Anushka Fernandopulle Consulting, NQAPIA, National Asian/Pacific American Womens's Forum, Trikone Atlanta, Asian American Queer Women Activists, Asian Pacific Islander Queer Sisters, Gay Asian Pacific Support Network, API Queer United for Action, UC Santa Barbara, SALGA NYC, I2I:Invisible to Invincible, GAPIMNY, Shades of Yello, Providence Youth Student Movement, API Pride of Chicago, Astrea Lesbian Foundation for Justice, Grassroots Institute for Fundraising Training, Q-Wave, Queer Philly Asians, Trikone (SF), Satrang, South Bay Queer & Asian, API Equality-LA, AQUA, KHUSHDC, API EQUALITY, Audre Lorde Project, Dari Project, AL-Fatiha Foundation, Trikone-Norhtwest.


Day 2 was full of workshops, discussions and was a hectic day, followed by a nice dinner offsite. Some of the participants went for a club night and I was so tired and I didn't feel like burning my midnight oil that weekend. The Austin trip few days later was in my mind and I didn't want to exhaust myself and also I am feeling like a old man at 35. What the heck?


Day 3 was a half a day one and it everyone went back to their homes. It was hard to say goodbye, but its the fact and reality.


40 plus Asian queer leaders from different organizations and different walks of life were there. It was a unexplainable feeling of a big family and comfort that we are not alone in this fight. I looked around the room we had East Asians, South Asians, Pacific Islanders, South East Asians in the room. We were all connected by one mission and one cause. How often does this happen? its not that often and its the reality. Most of the representation was from East and West coasts, one from Georgia, Minnesota, Missouri each. This showed that we need to get those people energized and organized in those underrepresented states. Yes there are Queer Asians in those states but we have to find a way to help them get organized and be visible.


I don't question the existence of "Long Yang" theme clubs across the nation, but I don't think these clubs are serving the Queer Asian movement. These group in general reinforces the concept of Older White men and the younger Asian men. This is a stereotype as a Asian gay man, me and many of my peers are asked or forced to fit in. But many are resilient and wont settle for such arrangements and its wont work. Personally I don't like to be exotified and looked upon as a exotic piece of meat vs a good productive human being who is civic minded and works for the community. I have a lot to offer and unless I get a chance I wont be able to show that side of me. As a minority we are expected to be a stereotype played by media and the community or exotified by the majority community. This is counter productive and doesn't help us to assimilate it to the majority and treated as equals. Whether you have lived here all your life or you were adopted and raised by a parents from different race or you just got off the plane doesn't matter, we are still Asians and we have to embrace that aspect of it and make changes that is necessary within the community.


There are many of the Asian queer organizations in this nation. We do a great job locally and take care of the local needs as much as possible. As local community organizations mostly we are volunteer based organizations. We pick our fight on various grounds and its very difficult path I say. We have limited resources at our disposal and very limited manpower to go with that. We always think about the local needs and we seldom work with other organizations within our local confines or nationally. Even if we say we do work with other organizations, its unstructured and very minimal. We reinvent the wheel so many times and its mind boggling. We all work as separate islands and we ought to get united, get organized and interface with the other groups and make the movement stronger and share our triumphs and failures.


This is a rare opportunity for us to get united nationally and do things from a national view point. Who we are locally shouldn't influence working nationally. I think someone from Boston, NYC, SF, Chicago, Austin, Kansas are equally effective in this fight. We may have history behind us, but we have to think that we are one community and work towards achieving the feeling of a one big family and do what we are supposed to do. There is a lot to be accomplished nationally and we have a huge advantage of helping the GLBT community back in our home countries. They need us and if we can build a stronger foundation we can weather storms like Ike, Katrina and ones that may come tomorrow or the day after.


We can withstand the onslaught of White privilege, racial inequality, gender bias, right wing and many more that comes our way. If we stay united we can take the bull by its horn, otherwise we end up facing the Bull shit. I will let you choose what you like the Bull or the Bull shit?

Mission accomplished, but Where do I go next?

I woke up this morning (09/01/2008) around 8:30 or so.. Its Labor day weekend and it’s my day off. First time this weekend I got some sleep and I slept well all night. These past few days I slept like 1 or 2 hours a night. I don’t know what to blame. Coffee? Stress from presenting my work at the NETIP (Network of Indian professional) annual national conference or, talking in the conference. Perhaps it’s because I am the first gay Indian to participate in the conference and talk myself and present my work. Its not easy to go and discuss your sexuality in a open forum before a room full of complete strangers. Not knowing what they think, what struggles they are going thru and how they feel, its always a nerve wrecking experience, but I keep my cool as always and put on my brave face and a big smile. Now the mission is accomplished and here I am exhausted from the screening and being part of a panel discussing Identities of South Asians here in USA, I can take it easy recharge and reflect on what went right, what went wrong and how can I do a better job the next time. One more stop towards achieving equality for the GLBT community and one more inch closer to integrate Straight and GLBT community.

The enormity and importance of this conference stuck me so hard this morning and I have to admit that it made me bit emotional.(I swear I didn’t cry, a tad emotional). I just lay there in the bed and said to myself, Wow Sarav, you did a good job and you did it. One more barrier broken down, one more wall came down, you touched many souls and you taught some open minded human beings by being upfront, honest and talking about GLBT community and their difficult journey. Now go and get a cup of coffee and start your day and work on your next project. Don’t just lay there and relax and waste your time, there is a lot to be done. The day is beautiful out there and go and do something.

When Usha Govindarajulu my dear friend approached me on behalf of NetSAP Boston earlier this year, I said yes. I was working on the film project since last year and I could never say no to Usha and I said yes. Then they requested me to be part of the panel discussion as well and I said yes. You all know that I will never say no for such things, because as a GLBT community activist, you jump to any such rare opportunities coming your way. It’s a rare opportunity to bridge the gap between the straight and the gay community. Especially the South Asian community which lives far from each other and there is very little interaction or intersection. Talk about isolation, it’s part of my drive and why I feel the passion to reduce the gap and brignt the communities together and integrate the GLBT part in the main stream South Asian community. After all we are South Asians and we didn’t come from Mars or Jupiter [contrary to the belief and according to scientologists) and we boarded the same flights to US or our parents took the flights themselves witih dreams and few dollars in our pockets. :)

When I arrived at the conference on Sat and realized that its almost 1000 South Asian professionals are attending this conference. I was simply overwhelmed. I thought it must be in couple of hundreds and the crowd will be manageable. There they are, well dressed, well behaved, South Asians most of them talking with a American accent, well mannered and very accomplished in their fields. I was very impressed and happy to see the upcoming South Asian generation in USA and felt how driven they are to achieve success in their fields and their drive to excel (I will give a lot of credit to the annoying parents who tell us what to do most of the time, including our love life). At that moment, I felt alone. The lone GLBT represenatiave who is there to accomplish something that no one ever done it before. Glad Gayathri was there for the mostpart, its very soothing to see a familiar friendly soul next to you.

Whether it’s the panel discussion or the film screening, the outpouring support was great and I made many new fast friends there. Aditi, Ashwini, Farida, Sabhita, Falu, Manish and many more.. I have to check my card collection and recollect others names, you know that I am not very good with names. I forget them easily. I reconnected with Gayathri, Ranjani, Mr. Saigal, Usha, Dom, Shobhit, Pallavi, Tushneem, Arindham and many others. Kishor helped with the screening part and videographed my talk and the Q&A.

Never ever I was proud of myself and I think this conference reminded me why I am a community activist and why I spend all my resources and energy fighting for equality and edcuating myself and others. Ofte times, I am very critical about what I do and I have to admit it that I am proud of my accomplishment. There is always someone who helps you to achieve this, if it’s not my friend Usha, this could not have happened and I owe her a big one.

The theme of the conference said, Explore, Dream and Discover. I will have to say, Dream, Explore and Discover in that order. I dare to dream, I dare to seek and explore opportunities and in that special hard journey I discover a lot about myself and figure out who I am. Life is a journey and I wont deny that. I have started this journey and it will never stop, as long as I live and I am sane, I will continue surging ahead. There is a lot to be done, there is lot to be accomplished, I want to make a difference and I will do that.

Believe in yourself and chase those dreams and it’s never too late.

Now I should get my second cup of coffee and get out of here ASAP and do something, there is no time to sit around and do nothing. There is a lot to be done and accomplished. Boston, here I come.

The rainbow

The colors of myself
Glows as a rainbow
Satrangi they call
The essense of my existance
The essense of my soul

I Glow in the shadows
I Glow in the nights
No one ever sees
No one ever feels
Its a utter dark secret

I am like a pearl
Tucked away neatly
In many dark corners
In the depths of secrets
Pushed away deeply
Tucked away safely

Here is my first chance
To step out in the sun
To bask in the glory
I am finally myself
I am true to myself

- Sarav July 14 2008

The 12th goodbye to my Dad!

Today Aug 10th 2008 and the day is almost over. Just got back from a nice outdoor cookout party and suddenly the sky opened up. The heavy rains, cloudy and gloomy day kind off reflected my mindset. Normally Aug 10th comes and goes and most of the time I wont remember it. I always get lost in the fast phased life here in the USA. You are far removed from your family and culture and its a big disconnect. No one is there to remind me about this fateful day. I would say its a blessing and I wont regret it.

Last night I was talking to my mom and then my Aunt when she reminded me that they are observing the 12th Anniversary of my Dad's passing away. For a few seconds I was silent and the whole life flashed before me. Its not easy, but the pain, the panic, the stress, the confusion, the numbness and a whole lot of feelings that you cannot put name to it returned for those brief moments. At that moment it felt like I was back in Durgapur and going thru those feelings again.

I have to be very honest about my feelings. Yes I was very sad and distraught, but slowly the loss became a relief. I know many of you may think, what a rotten thing to say? I am being very honest. My feeling about the loss even today has not changed a bit. There are two different things, loving someone and getting loved back. I sincerely loved my dad and I don't think it was acknowledged. He was lost in his own world of Alcohol, it consumed a able, handsome man. It robbed off a family of its happiness, peace and respect.

You know I believe that, everyone should give respect and get respect. I always believed in that and I will continue to do so. Just because someone is related by blood doesn't mean that we have to love them 100% no matter what they do and how they treat you. I don't think my Dad believed in it or Its just that alcohol took over this consciousness and he didn't think right.

Its utmost important for a Father to be a father and teach his kids right from wrong. Be a positive role model and love them the way they should be. Provide for them, guide them in obtaining good education, guide them to be a good human being. Just because someone contribute 50% of your genes doesn't mean that their responsibility is over. Either you can be a good father or you are not. Its a binary, yes or no. There is no in between stage.

I am robbed of a childhood because of my Dad and I am exposed to a lot which I am not supposed to be. Who should I blame now? Blame game doesn't help, either it make things worse. The years have passed and the wound is still raw and its very painful. Every time I see a dotting father on the streets or in a social settings, my life flashes before my eyes in a second. It reiterates what I have missed and I will never get to feel the love, warmth and caring side of a father. On the positive side this whole thing has helped to mould my life to be a better person. To be someone who cares for others, to be someone who is genuine and loves his Friends and family. Someone who is sensitive and someone who is different.

I have so many unfinished business with my Dad. I cant talk to him or ask him some difficult questions. One thing I can do is look deep inside me and find a way to forgive him. I will try to make peace with it somehow. Perhaps next year, I will remember this day and it will be a better one. May be the next year, I will have the courage to forgive him and move forward. Till then, I will be optimistic.

Aids walk 2008

Standup for yours and others rights..

May 21 2008, Cambridge , MA 7pm

Today, I was standing with a poster in hand in Cambridge Central square. Carol, Alpana, Brian and many more community members where there with me hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder. Our aim was to create awareness about the plight of 550 Indian trafficked workers and ensuing hunger strike by some of the workers.

We are from different organizations, genders, sexual orientations, different races, we hailed from different corners of the world. But we stood united to give a voice to this modern slavery. In the age of Paris Hilton getting much of our prime time TV exposure and the rest going for the presidential coverage, we want to give a voice to this issue and get some much needed attention to the underlying problem.

The more I talked about it to complete strangers, the more powerful was the urge to do more for the plight of this helpless workers. These workers and their families and friends have sacrificed a lot for chasing a dream. A simple dream of having a better life and A simple dream of providing to their families. A simple dream of getting their brothers and sisters married off , in some cases their sons and daughters. I am sure some dreams were about building a house which they can call theirs for rest of their life. Or perhaps it could be as simple as putting food on their families table. But little did they know that they are duped into modern slavery and they will be virtual prisoners and end up with $20,000 in debt.

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Little did they know that they will be packed like sardines in small trailers and will be charged $1000 per month for that filthy inhumane conditions. Little did they know that they are the only group of employees who are forced to live in that condition and not free to live elsewhere. Little did they know their passports and visa papers will be confiscated by their employer.

BACKGROUND :

* In the aftermath of Katrina, Gult Coast employers lock African Amercian workers out and conspire with recruiters to find exploitable foreign workers to lock in.

* In late 2006, over 500 Indian workers mortgage their futures for an American dream by selling their homes, family farms and wives jewelry to raise $20,000 apiece for false promises of green cards and permanent residency from US and Indian recruiters.

* Instead they receive ten-month H2B guest worker visas and arrive to an American nightmare at Signal International worksites in Mississippi and Texas. They forced to live in company "man-camps" 24 men to a trailer, for which $1,050 a month is deducted from their salaries. Workers are trapper by ocean of debt at home and constand threats of deportation from the company when they ask for improvements.

*March, 9 2007, After workers begin to organize at the Pascagoula, MS shipyard, Signal stages a pre-dawn raid by armed guards who hold three of the workers in a locked room, saying they will be deported the next day. In desperation, worker and organizer Sabulal Vijayan slits his wrist in a suicide attemp, prompting hundres of workers to striker. Signal releases the organizers but fires them. The company thinks its problem are over, but workers continue to organize.

I applaud their courage to escape the modern day prison and break the chains of modern day slavery. They did not stand up for themselves but for the thousands of other trafficked workers in this country. We may not know their names, we may not know their stories, we may not know their dreams, we may not know their aspirations, but all we know is that they are human beings, and they are part of this society. They are here legally to chase a dream and still they fall thru the cracks. Their dreams and aspirations are shattered. Suddenly their dreams turned to a nightmare.

Does the system help them to get over this? No, it’s too slow to react. Does the new channels shed light on their plight, not its too busy covering Paris Hiltons and Lindsay logans. The younger generation is busy in American IDOL episodes or Reality TV. Where is the outrage, where is the collective shame? Where is our voice? Are we lost or did we gave up hope because of the recent wars? Or did we lost the ability to be compassionate to our fellow human beings? Or did we buy in to the Anti Immigrant right wing? Or we don’t care because their skin color is Brown?Lets prove this wrong, there is a lot to be done and too little time. Let’s not let anyone who is responsible go unpunished.

Lets standup for our rights and others. If you standup you can see the world better and you can see far and clear. This is the basis necessity, lets standup.

Please contact SAALT AT 301-270-1855 or saalt@saalt.org