I woke up this morning (09/01/2008) around 8:30 or so.. Its Labor day weekend and it’s my day off. First time this weekend I got some sleep and I slept well all night. These past few days I slept like 1 or 2 hours a night. I don’t know what to blame. Coffee? Stress from presenting my work at the NETIP (Network of Indian professional) annual national conference or, talking in the conference. Perhaps it’s because I am the first gay Indian to participate in the conference and talk myself and present my work. Its not easy to go and discuss your sexuality in a open forum before a room full of complete strangers. Not knowing what they think, what struggles they are going thru and how they feel, its always a nerve wrecking experience, but I keep my cool as always and put on my brave face and a big smile. Now the mission is accomplished and here I am exhausted from the screening and being part of a panel discussing Identities of South Asians here in USA, I can take it easy recharge and reflect on what went right, what went wrong and how can I do a better job the next time. One more stop towards achieving equality for the GLBT community and one more inch closer to integrate Straight and GLBT community.
The enormity and importance of this conference stuck me so hard this morning and I have to admit that it made me bit emotional.(I swear I didn’t cry, a tad emotional). I just lay there in the bed and said to myself, Wow Sarav, you did a good job and you did it. One more barrier broken down, one more wall came down, you touched many souls and you taught some open minded human beings by being upfront, honest and talking about GLBT community and their difficult journey. Now go and get a cup of coffee and start your day and work on your next project. Don’t just lay there and relax and waste your time, there is a lot to be done. The day is beautiful out there and go and do something.
When Usha Govindarajulu my dear friend approached me on behalf of NetSAP Boston earlier this year, I said yes. I was working on the film project since last year and I could never say no to Usha and I said yes. Then they requested me to be part of the panel discussion as well and I said yes. You all know that I will never say no for such things, because as a GLBT community activist, you jump to any such rare opportunities coming your way. It’s a rare opportunity to bridge the gap between the straight and the gay community. Especially the South Asian community which lives far from each other and there is very little interaction or intersection. Talk about isolation, it’s part of my drive and why I feel the passion to reduce the gap and brignt the communities together and integrate the GLBT part in the main stream South Asian community. After all we are South Asians and we didn’t come from Mars or Jupiter [contrary to the belief and according to scientologists) and we boarded the same flights to US or our parents took the flights themselves witih dreams and few dollars in our pockets. :)
When I arrived at the conference on Sat and realized that its almost 1000 South Asian professionals are attending this conference. I was simply overwhelmed. I thought it must be in couple of hundreds and the crowd will be manageable. There they are, well dressed, well behaved, South Asians most of them talking with a American accent, well mannered and very accomplished in their fields. I was very impressed and happy to see the upcoming South Asian generation in USA and felt how driven they are to achieve success in their fields and their drive to excel (I will give a lot of credit to the annoying parents who tell us what to do most of the time, including our love life). At that moment, I felt alone. The lone GLBT represenatiave who is there to accomplish something that no one ever done it before. Glad Gayathri was there for the mostpart, its very soothing to see a familiar friendly soul next to you.
Whether it’s the panel discussion or the film screening, the outpouring support was great and I made many new fast friends there. Aditi, Ashwini, Farida, Sabhita, Falu, Manish and many more.. I have to check my card collection and recollect others names, you know that I am not very good with names. I forget them easily. I reconnected with Gayathri, Ranjani, Mr. Saigal, Usha, Dom, Shobhit, Pallavi, Tushneem, Arindham and many others. Kishor helped with the screening part and videographed my talk and the Q&A.
Never ever I was proud of myself and I think this conference reminded me why I am a community activist and why I spend all my resources and energy fighting for equality and edcuating myself and others. Ofte times, I am very critical about what I do and I have to admit it that I am proud of my accomplishment. There is always someone who helps you to achieve this, if it’s not my friend Usha, this could not have happened and I owe her a big one.
The theme of the conference said, Explore, Dream and Discover. I will have to say, Dream, Explore and Discover in that order. I dare to dream, I dare to seek and explore opportunities and in that special hard journey I discover a lot about myself and figure out who I am. Life is a journey and I wont deny that. I have started this journey and it will never stop, as long as I live and I am sane, I will continue surging ahead. There is a lot to be done, there is lot to be accomplished, I want to make a difference and I will do that.
Believe in yourself and chase those dreams and it’s never too late.
Now I should get my second cup of coffee and get out of here ASAP and do something, there is no time to sit around and do nothing. There is a lot to be done and accomplished. Boston, here I come.
Now I should get my second cup of coffee and get out of here ASAP and do something, there is no time to sit around and do nothing. There is a lot to be done and accomplished. Boston, here I come.
